Donald Trump, Junior

Trump Jr.’s extensive contacts (email and meetings) with Russians may have jeopardized deals with the Trump business and other “off the record” deals that  Trump has made with the Russian Mafiya, where Putin is a powerful, though “unofficial” officer.

Several opponents who have crossed Putin and his cronies in both politics, and in attempting to apply the rule of law, have been killed (link to details). Most died from various poisons, radiation or more violent methods.  Thus, a food taster (most Presidents use them) becomes a basic necessity, in addition to bodyguards and other more “conventional” protection afforded people of power and influence. Did Obama have a food taster? The Snopes website rates this a “true”!

More Tasters and a few Bugs Appear

Can you see the “bugs?” Click here to test your counter-espionage IQ and see the wired men.

Perhaps even more telling of the tense mood and conflict within the Trump inner circle, is the rumor that some staff, including Jared Kushner, have hired backup food tasters, and are  wearing recording devices under their clothes, to rectify the complex set of values needed to stay out of prison, stay alive, and still remain “on-board the Trump Train” to make America great again.

Gov. Chris Christie, who is Trump’s “transition team leader” has been discussing post-election actions to drive home Trump’s special theme of unity. Sources close to his team have mentioned possible “attitude adjustments” will be in order for certain areas of the U.S. that were Republican strongholds, but didn’t get on the Trump Train.

Link to full article..

Tic Tacs aren’t just for work!

 
As you might expect, sharp business people like Donald Trump have a gift, call it a knack, for taking a bad situation and finding a new angle, a new way to turn things around. The latest controversy over video/audio from 2005, where Trump admits assaulting women and attempting to seduce a married woman, has shocked many. In the video, Trump says he needs a Tic Tac in case he kisses the actress he is about to meet.

That was enough for the Italian confectioner Ferrero, which makes Tic Tacs, to leap into action. Spokesman Luigi Silvio Soprano noted this as an opportunity. He said*,

“In Italian culture, we treasure our women, in a way that Mr. Trump understands. In the big cities, a man can go all day, copping many feels of buttocks, breasts, and even the occasional crotch. Most women appreciate the attention, and consider it a compliment. So we have signed a preliminary promotional agreement with Mr. Trump, where his stature and image will no doubt boost sales of our fine mint products.”

Soprano mentioned that one trial ad is ready and more are to come in the next few weeks, before the U.S. elections.

Fiorina explains a fine point of her reality system.

Now, after a trouncing in the May 3rd Indiana primary, Cruz has thrown in the towel and suspended his campaign. But not so fast, says Fiorina. She plans to stay in the race, hoping to score a massive victory in California, site of her Hewlett-Packard financial success.

During a brief interview after Cruz’s last rally, Fiorina was questioned about the validity of running when her name was not actually on the ballot in California. Her response echoed several themes from her 2016 presidential campaign. She replied, “That’s your reality.”

She added:
“I know Ted Cruz will be on the ballot and I’m not a quitter. We’re going to get it done and stop the Trump Train, so that Sen. Cruz can un-suspend his campaign and save America.”

Omarosa Manigault & Trump

Another possible VP candidate was Omarosa Manigualt, familiar to viewers of Trump’s TV reality show, The Apprentice. As an African-American female, strategists hoped she would help counter some of Trump’s low approval ratings with women and minorities. In a yet to be released statement, Omarosa said,

“I’m flattered that Donald would consider me for his backup in his ‘Make America Great Again’ luxury country makeover. Unfortunately, I have some prior commitments to the introduction and marketing of my new line of mood-altering food supplements. I wish him the best of luck, and hope he can avoid bankruptcy on this project.”

An old hand to return

One of Trump’s key beliefs is that the U.S. should get back in the torture (and worse!)

Cheney makes a gesture.

business. His views have been forcefully denounced by several high ranking security and military officials, with former CIA chief Michael Hayden saying the CIA would defy orders to conduct torture. Trump’s strategy is apparently set to challenge any attempts to defy orders by announcing Dick Cheney as his VP running mate.

Trump’s spokesperson elaborated:
“Dick Cheney has proven his value in persuading military and security agencies that they need to ‘get with the program’ or be classified as anti-American. It will be interesting to see how these military types change their tune when ole’ Dick starts messing with their minds.”

New Cabinet position

In addition to appointing Cheney as Vice-President, Trump spokes-bot described a new position President Trump will create on his first day in office. The Deputy of Extreme Rendition Techniques (DERT) will be headed by Cheney as its first “Dungeon Master.”

B-52 takes off on a routine test flight in October.

On Friday, Trump took the plan public, and spoke with a small group of veterans in South Carolina and described his plan this way:

“I don’t have time to fool around waiting for our idiot president and his stupid military advisors to wipe out ISIS.  Within the next few weeks, I will be taking a two-pronged approach to stop this scourge on civilization.”

Prong Number One
“The first step will be to offer ISIS leaders an opportunity to invest in my newest resort, “Ali-Don,” near the Syria/Iraq border.  I have some fantastic people working on this deal. We have built a incredibly flat airstrip as the base of our operation, so guests can fly directly to Ali-Don.  These ISIS people are so stupid, that if it goes as planned, they will be broke in 2-3 months, and the war will be done. ”

Backup Plans

Trump continued.
“As you know, I am a brilliant businessman, so I’m gonna have a backup plan in case the resort doesn’t work out. Here it is: BOMB THE BEEJESUS OUT OF THEM!!  In a short time, I will be flying bombing missions to eliminate these scumbags.  We are purchasing several B-52s and retrofitting them for extended missions.”

“I am also negotiating with Lockheed Martin to purchase an F-35 fighter (more on F-35) that will be used for shooting down the occasional Russian plane, just to get Putin’s attention, if you know what I mean.”

Trump’s crew loading ordnance to facilitate ISIS’s return to the stone-age.

“This will not cost taxpayers a dime–I am SOO0oo000 RICH, and thanks to free coverage I’ve gotten from the lamebrain mainstream media, I haven’t spent a dime of the $750,000,000 petty cash that I have set aside for the campaign!”

Private Enterprise at War–a new American Tradition
Pre-empting what he described as “pesky legal arguments against his plans,” Trump said, “There is nothing in the constitution to stop a citizen from declaring war, and that’s exactly what I’m doing, because I’m a Man of Action. If you were paying attention when Dubya (Jeb’s idiot brother) ran the Iraq war, private companies burned up a huge chunk of taxpayers’ cash. How is this any different–except this time I’ll pick up the tab? Remember Blackwater? My guys could kick their butts ten times over before lunch! This ISIS extermination will be wrapped up by the end of February.”

Peace for a Richer America
Trump elaborated on effects this would have on his political campaign.
“With this fantastic victory over ISIS, when I take office in 2017, we can get on with making Americans richer and greater and happier than they could ever imagine!  Oh yeah, and whiter than ever—stay tuned for my plan to cleanse our country of all the weirdos that no one likes.”